Avoiding the Wedding Curse or “Sukob”

What is sukob? Sukob is a Filipino superstitious belief that, if two siblings marry in the same year or if the wedding is held within months of another family member’s death, misfortune will come to the married couple and their family.

We’ve engaged early this year; we booked and paid to reserved for our reception venue (in Tropical, Pagbilao), only this one yet. I got a phone call from my eldest sister, Ate Menchie from Japan, about the news that my brother got married few days ago with Emy. I was shocked! Who the hell is Emy? I initially got angry with my brother, I know he knew that I’m getting married that year, he was there in our pamanhikan but still he continues to marry the girl. I’ve told him twice or thrice to wait for me first, and marry the girl next year! He didn’t listen; He never considered me, this was my thought. I have nothing else to do but cry and the feeling of disappointment. They are already married, it’s a fact! (The next day) I’d already confirmed it with my father too and he was also surprised for their unplanned wedding. He only knew that my brother is going to married on the same day of their wedding, he wasn’t prepared and he doesn’t know; he was in the billiard center when he was informed and he rushed down and proceed into their wedding.

In the Philippines, they have the old saying for a “sukob” thing. I’m quite not sure whether to believe it or not but one simple rule for myself, if it can be avoided, then avoid it.

We’ve left with no choice but to move our wedding date coz I know for sure that our elders will not allow us to have our wedding set in this year. We’ve discussed this again with my hubby-to-be, and we’ve decided to move it on January 3, 2010 instead.

Engagement aka Pamanhikan

He was my first boyfriend, and I was too his first girlfriend. We’ve been in a relationship since October 2002. We lived together in Singapore for couple of months, August 2008. There was no formal engagement between the two us. It is just that, I knew in myself that he is the right guy for me; who I will marry and grow old with. This was I think the same with his. Though we’ve plan to marry in the future, there was no plan in terms of dates, place, no nothing!

December 2008, I flew back to Philippines to spend my Christmas and New Year there with my family. I leave him here (in Singapore) coz he was just new in his work, so he needs sometime and adjustments. First day of January 2009, I met his parents in Jollibee Lucena to hand over something (I forgot what is that something). During our meet ups, his mother mentioned to me about “pamanhikan”. I told her that this was not in our plan and told her that if we’re going to do with the “pamanhikan”, I prefer that Albert should be here with us personally. But she still insists that Albert told them about this pamahikan thing. So I think it’s also fine and can go with the pamanhikan. I’ve asked my father about this and for his consent, he was also ok with this eventhough Albert is not physically present in this gathering. My father know Albert already and I think my father trust him so I also didn’t see any problem with that.

We’ve scheduled the pamanhikan on 3^rd or 4^th of January 2008. As a Filipino tradition, the family of the guy will prepare all the food and bring it into the girl’s house; which is actually happened same as like this, even water they still bring hahahaha though we can provide water lol.

We’ve gathered my family and closed relatives in our house to discuss about our wedding. While, for Albert’s side, they have immediate family members, closed relatives and some neighbours? But still, without Albert.

Anyway, even before we’ve started the meeting (pamanhikan), Albert and I discussed about our wedding over the phone. So, I just informed all people there what we’ve discussed. And we’ve chosen December 28, 2009 as our wedding date, same date as my birthday!

To think that it’ll be in a year to getting hitch!

Tongue Tied Aleina

Aleina got appointment with Dra. Rubio in MMG Clinic, Lucena City. This is just a follow up check up that I've requested to my sister to set an appointment with Dra. so I could talk with her personally. During her check up, Dra. Rubio noticed that Aleina is tongue tied. Just thinking that, why only now she noticed of Aleina's condition where Irish and Tita Neneth met her more than twice since I was in SG? Then she told me that, it was only the time that Aleina cried out that loud so to make her tongue tied visible. Dra. Rubio also wondering that by right, it should be seen when Aleina was newborn and that should have a minot surgery for her tongue tied. Well, I cant react that much coz Aleina was born in Singapore, in the way I see it, Philippine and Singapore doctors are different in some or most ways! Click here for more info about tongue-tied.

Since her advise is for Aleina to undergo minor surgery (immediately coz we dont have much time!, coz Tomorrow will be our flight), I'm really hesitant to go for it. I asked her what are the possible consequences if Aleina grow up with a tongue tied and she told me that, Aleina might be delayed in speech development, the frequency of drinking her milk might be slow is also possible and the pronunciation of some word or letter with "r" or "s" might not be clear. According to her, it's still best to do it within the first year of life of a baby coz if we do it by more than that (lets say, 2-3 yrs old) it really needs to have a surgery with a anesthesiologist, where the surgery cost is pretty high. So I've asked her, how much is the surgey and how long does it take for the procedure? And how long is the healing process? And she replied, it's cheap for about P2,000 pesos and it's a very quick surgery about 15 minutes or so. Healing process may take 4 days with medication (but no oral medication)...

Given these information I had before deciding whether to proceed with the surgery or not, I've called Ate Baby and tell her about Aleina's condition. And yes, she agreed and advise to proceed coz according to her, Ivan was also tongue tied and only speaks at the age of 3.

Dra, Rubio recommended a male surgeon, I forgot his name already but his clinic is just beside Dra. Rubio's clinic in MMG. The surgery's price is really cheap 2,000 pesos but since we are Dra. Rubio's patients, we're entitled to 50% discount. We only paid 1,000 pesos! Super cheap surgery!

So, we went to his small surgery room and literlly saw his pair of scissors, alcohol and sets of cotton. When the surgery begins, Albert hold's Aleina's head and upper body while I hold her legs and lower body... She was really crying out loud, I cant help myself to see her condition that way, I cant help myself my tears fall down. I was too worried and pity to her, but I dont think we've god a choice here. The surgercy took for about 15 minutes as expected, but still Aleina's crying. We've tried to get her attention and played with her, then suddenly she was already ok. It seems to be like nothing has happened; and everything was ok.

The surgery dc only provide us a medicine called Bactidol to applied to Aleina's tongue for 4 days. We've continue it applying even she was in Singapore. On the 5th day after her surget, she was really ok. Thanks GOD coz it went well and there's no complication arises.