Confuse Meee

As of now, I'm really confuse of whether should I go to Pinas for 3days trip on Nov 1-3 for my baby Arthenian (first baby) or stayed here for my baby Aleina?

My mother died when I was 4 years old. Since then, we're having November 1 a gathering in my mother's tomb as our family tradition; stayed there through the day, watching till the candles melt, meet some relatives who also visits my mother's tomb. Even when I grew old (not that too old lol) and working in Manila, we're doing this; it only stopped when started working here in SG.

My first baby (baby Arthenian) passed away about 1.5 yrs ago. For his 2nd death anniversary, I'm sure I cannot make it to pay a visit to his tomb, I can only do is pray. I'm feeling guilty that I cant do anything for him. How I wish that I can go to PH to spend sometime...

Since I cant go for his 2nd death anniv, I'm thinking of visiting him this coming Nov 1; planning to stay with him in his tomb whole day. My only concern is baby Aleina, I'll leave her here in SG with her daddy and tita Irish. Though I feel a bit secured for that 2 to handle baby Aleina, it still gets me worried. I feel something that I need to be there... I'm now totally confused... Oh GOD, please help me decide. Please enlighten me if I really needed to be there; please give me just one sign, just one sign.